Agape love is the source from which all other expressions of love flow. Agape is God. Love that is unconditional, accepting, uncompromising, unchanging, unwavering, indefectible, indefatigable. This love is expressed universally, all God’s creatures are beneficiaries of His love. This love is chosen and deliberate and is lavished on the beloved whether he/she deserves it or not, is willing or not, receives it or not. Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). All of us need love. It is a matter of survival. Ever noticed a man, woman, boy or girl who does not feel loved? Closer to home, have you ever felt unloved? A recipe for misery, isn’t it?
In spite of, or maybe more correctly, in addition to all the other types and expressions of love, be it philia, eros, storge or pragma, every human being needs agape. We all want to know that we enjoy love from another being that is indestructible. We term that real love. But are human beings capable of giving agape?
Jesus required it of His followers: A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34). Jesus operated in agape. We must. In all our relationships be it at home, at church, in the workplace, on the streets, wherever, agape is the standard. Truthfully, we are not capable of this kind of love in our own strength. However, the good news is we are not being asked to. God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us (Romans 5:5). We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). The aim of our charge is love, that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and sincere faith (1 Timothy 1:5). Let me illustrate:
In a disagreement: Be angry and do not sin (Psalm 4:4; Ephesians 4:26). There are some situations that warrant anger and it is ok to express anger. However, in ‘letting it rip’, don’t belittle or demean the person with whom you are angry. Don’t call them names. Don’t seek to tear them down and destroy their sense of worth and self. Instead remember love. Deal with the issue at hand and strive to maintain respect.
Feeling wronged? “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). Forgiveness is not a feeling. More often than not, we don’t feel like we want to forgive. We want the person to suffer. We want to harm the person even. However, it is instructive to recall the countless times we have been forgiven and to extend forgiveness.
Contrary to what some people believe, forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook and giving them free rein to do it again. It is releasing ourselves from the burden of bitterness. Unforgiveness only hurts the person who is doing it. We must decide, all the time, in every situation, to forgive. It is the expression of agape. As Nelson Mandela aptly assented, “Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That’s why it is such a powerful weapon” (From a 1995 speech).
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit (Philippians 2:3). As followers of Christ, we are not prideful and only concerned with our own interests, benefits and welfare regardless of others. We are not disciples of the “Me, Myself & I” movement. Instead, we imitate Christ’s humility and value others above ourselves. “The customer is always right”. This philosophy works, not only because its practical but biblical as well.
Chronic lateness; absenteeism; wasting time on the job; taking home the paper clips, paper, elastic bands, pens, after all “dem nah miss it” (they won’t miss it); stealthily making copious copies on the company’s copier; idling; shoddy work; malicious backstabbing; destructive criticism; a surly, sour disposition; mean temperedness and arrogance should not be named among us. We are children of the Most High God and should display His character and excellence in all things. That is love.
On a Personal Note
My mother died on the day before my birthday in 2018.
Reflecting on our lives together, spanning decades, brought a startling revelation.
As I was ruminating with God I recalled the sacrifices she had made over the years. She never allowed me to go hungry, even if she was. I was always smartly and fashionably dressed, even if her clothes were not as trendy. She taught me to fear God, to be kind. She taught me courage and exemplified what it means to put others above self.
I was her daughter and she was proud to admit it. She was my usually silent, but occasionally boisterous cheer leader. She affirmed and took care of me. She gave me of her best.
I was adopted, but no one ever knew. This made me appreciate what it means to be adopted by God. As I considered this I asked, how come I never felt adopted? How come she loved me as one would love their own child that issued from their own body? I always knew I was accepted and that I belonged; always experienced forgiveness and felt her commitment to me as her cause.
God’s reply – Love is blood!
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