You will recall that in Part 1 we were trying to help Bella’s Dad answer the question ‘What is love?’ In our further quest to determine whether love is an emotion or a decision. We explored different descriptions and expressions of love but have not quite yet pinned down an answer.
Love is a Person
1 John 4:7-8 (ESV) Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love, does not know God, because God IS love.
Love is one of God’s core attributes. It’s the very nature of God. He is the source of love; the very essence of love. He is the creator of love and therefore provides the perfect example of what love is. God is love’s benchmark. It is impossible for God to not love. Everything God does is loving. He has shed abroad His love in our hearts. Therefore, we love Him because He first loved us.
Love is Action
Romans 5:8 (NIV) God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us.
You cannot know that you are loved unless it is expressed, whether verbally or through actions. For instance, you would have a hard time believing the protestations of love from someone who refuses to forgive you for something you did, wouldn’t you? Show & Tell a song made popular by Al Wilson, hits the nail on the head.
How do you show someone you love them? This can mean different things to different people and can be quite a challenge.
“How can you say you love me?” shouted Martha incredulously.
“I bring home the bacon, don’t I.” retorted Mark.
Obviously, Martha is expecting something very different from what Mark is giving. He thinks she should get it that he loved her because he is a good provider. However, Martha doesn’t get it.
Gary Chapman, author of the book the Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, theorized that each person has a unique way in which they perceive/receive love. This is his/her love language. Chapman lists five:
Some persons have multiple love languages. Chapman claims that finding out and expressing your loved one’s love language(s) can lead to relational bliss.
Love is a Decision
Jesus said, “A new command I give you: that you love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34 NIV). Matthew 5:44 explains this command and shows you how to fulfill it. ‘Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you; that you may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.”
Here we see that love is a decision to obey a command to love. The decision to love is by no means an easy one. We fall short so readily and are in need of God’s grace to love out of a pure heart as He commanded us.
I have been faced with this decision to love on a number of occasions but one stands out very clearly. A supervisor at work was very difficult to get along with. I was subjected to many acts of injustice and just plain meanness. I cried out to God for deliverance, hoping He would provide another job. When that was not forthcoming I asked Him what to do, the situation was becoming unbearable. With tears in my eyes I said “Father, help me, what must I do?” He said very clearly “Love her.” “What?! I recoiled, tears swiftly drying. That thought had never crossed my mind. How could I love this person who had been so mean? God promised to show me how and He did. I became a servant. I would get her coffee/tea/water multiple times a day. I would go out of my way to be pleasant etc. Not long after she confessed to going through a particularly rough time and being in need of my prayers. God’s way, though difficult, turned out to be quite fulfilling.
The command to love includes you loving yourself – Love your neighbour as yourself. Are you self- critical? Are you unforgiving of yourself? Do you call yourself names? Do you think you are worthless? How do I love myself? You may ask. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 spells it out. “Love endures long and is patient and kind. (Be patient and kind with yourself). Love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy. (Be content with who you are what you have). Love is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride). (Seek humility, God actively resists the proud). Love is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. (Don’t be rude to yourself, call yourself a fool etc.). Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person. (This includes yourself). Love’s hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything (without weakening). Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].”
Do you think we have answered Bella’s question? I do.
Does love belong in the workplace? Join me for Part 3 as we explore this.
Sharon E. Hermitt
Managing Director
HRWisdom Limited
November 15, 2020
