This topic is of a sensitive nature and might evoke intense emotional responses.
Thank you so much for coming back. We are going to be delving into God’s sovereignty. A weighty topic indeed! As usual I welcome your comments. Have a read, mull it over and shoot me an email.
Blotches of salty tears mixed with ink splattered across the journal page on which I was writing. My tears had become my constant companion, ever since I remembered the ordeal of being raped at 13. I was angry, confused, sad all the time and plagued by questions. I felt unprotected, unloved, uncared for, rejected and abandoned. I felt I was to blame. I had accepted Jesus as my Saviour at the age of 12. Why didn’t that insulate me from being sexually abused? My faith in God was challenged. Why God? I asked. Why do You, who claim to be good allow evil? Memories, of another time and another place, crowded to my consciousness.
The sky blushed a deep hue of purple as the dawn brushed its lips against the fading darkness. Head bent, shoulders stooped, I walked down the road on the way to work. The streets were deserted; not even a dog in sight. I hurried along focused on arriving to work in time for my shift.
I didn’t see the shadowy figure until it had grabbed a hold of my arm. With the other hand the figure unsheathed a butcher’s knife and poked it into my side. Shivers ran up and down my spine as the icy fingers of fear gripped my body. I silently held out my handbag, thinking that the man wanted money. He refused it and slithered his body closer to mine. With that, I could not mistake his intentions. Still holding my arm in a vice like grasp he pulled me along towards an abandoned lot with a few decrepit shacks. With a poke of his knife he reminded me not to make a sound. There was no one to hear me anyway.
The beat of my heart thudded in my head, my mouth went dry, shock and terror assailed me. He pushed me into the yard ahead of him. What would become of me? Was he going to kill me? Where could I run to?
I don’t know what caused me to look up but I did. It was then I saw it – light – a bright light streaming from a doorway. And, could it be?! A woman was standing in the doorway looking down on the scene unfolding before her eyes.
When the man saw her, he angrily ordered her to go back into her house. She stridently refused. Getting the message that she was not afraid of him, he beckoned to me to rejoin him. With the smell of freedom wafting my nostrils, I ran with trembling legs towards the doorway and into the woman’s house. I stood behind her shaking as the man, realizing that his plans had been foiled, walked away. I was safe! Relief, like the warm waves of a sundrenched sea, flooded my being.
Why had God allowed me to be raped at 13 but saved me from a similar fate at 25?
Much to the delight of the Jews at the time, King Herod Agrippa 41- 44 BC persecuted the early church. He had James, the brother of John killed by the sword and imprisoned Peter with the intention of assigning him a similar fate. However, Herod’s hostile ambition was thwarted. God engineered Peter’s miraculous escape by an angel (See Acts 12:1-18).
Why did God allow James to be killed but miraculously delivered Peter?
God’s sovereignty confronted me face to face.
God is sovereign. He is supreme in authority and all things are under His complete control. “Our God is in the heavens; He does all that He pleases.” Psalm 115:3. God says of Himself, “I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me…My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.” Isaiah 46:9-10. God is omnipotent. He rules over all. He is unchanging, resolutely accomplishing all His plans and purposes.
The Apostle Paul recounting God’s mighty acts in Egypt on behalf of the children of Israel writes:
For Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose that I might display My power in you and that My name might be proclaimed in all the earth. Therefore, God has mercy on whom He wants to have mercy, and He hardens whom He wants to harden. One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who is able to resist His will? But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’ Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay pottery for special purposes and some for common use? Romans 9:17-21.
God sovereignty has the potential to make one uncomfortable if it is not seen in light of His great and amazing love for us, His wisdom, His grace, His goodness and perfection.
God is sovereign but not arbitrary.
God cannot lie and His word says that He works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Job, a good man, by God’s own testimony, wrestled with God’s sovereignty in the midst of his intense trials and suffering. In the end he confessed:
“I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore, I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Hear and I will speak; I will question You, and You make it known to me.’ I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42:2-6
Jesus hung from the cross. Battered, bruised, abused, naked, alone. He cried ‘My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Crimson rivers of blood poured from His body. Nails cruelly forced through His hands and feet held Him suspended. Thorns pierced His brow. Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul an offering for sin (Isaiah 53:10). It pleased God to have His sinless Son Jesus take my place. Evil had its way and God allowed it.
Jesus’ death on my behalf proves God’s unfailing love for me and in light of this amazing love I choose to trust that what I suffered was and is being used for God’s purposes. His word assures me that His purposes are good, perfect and acceptable.
If you have not yet surrendered your life to this amazing God, why not do so now? Pray this prayer with me.
Lord Jesus, I thank You for Your love. I thank You for Your mercy. I recognize that I am a sinner in need of Your salvation. I now choose to turn away from evil and accept Your free gift of salvation made through Your sacrifice on the cross. Please wash away all my sins and come into my life so that I might live through You. Amen.
I would love to hear from you! Provide feedback or let me know if you prayed that prayer. Contact me at ahermitt’smusings@gmail.com.
