Sheila pranced excitedly into the department. “Good morning!” she sang as she swept through the isle. With her head up and a bright smile on her ruby red lips, she entered her office and closed the door.
Instantly the air of uncertainty that had clouded the department prior to Sheila’s arrival lifted. A collective sigh of relief escaped relieved lips. They would have a good day today; the boss was in a good mood.
What is a Mood?
A mood is how you feel at a particular point in time. Moods have a variety of qualities. A person can be described as being in a cheerful mood, a humorous mood, a reflective mood, a sad mood or a romantic mood. The word ‘mood’ has been used to reflect a frame of mind as when one says “I’m not in the mood to see a movie”. It can also indicate a general attitude or emotional tone e.g. a country’s mood.
It is important that we become aware of our moods as they affect how we relate to ourselves and others and how we see the world. For ease of discussion, we will narrow down moods to two i.e. bad and good.
The Bad Mood
We have all had days when we feel as if we got up on the wrong side of the bed. Those down in the dump moods that make it seem as if nothing is going right. A dark, depressing gloom hangs over every thought, every feeling and every experience. This is because your brain reacts in a negative way to a bad mood. Once your mood turns sour you lose sight of everything that is good in your life. Suddenly, you hate your life; you hate your job; you hate the dog. You’re frustrated with your family and friends; you’re dissatisfied with your achievements and any bright hope you had towards the future goes out the window. Deep down on the inside, where things are saner, you know that it’s not as bad as it seems. However, your brain refuses to acknowledge this.
On those gloomy days, you dress down and for some of us we dress way down and our appearance suffers. The people around us usually detect our mood and react accordingly. Some will avoid us like the plague, others will tiptoe around us and still others will confront, which more than likely leads to an argument in which we end up saying things that we usually regret later. We know the deleterious effects of a bad mood, but we can’t seem to prevent descending into one.
Self-awareness which is knowing what is happening with you even if you can’t totally change it, is a good healthy habit to pick up. A big first step in improving your situation is admitting that you are in a bad mood and it helps to warn others when you are in a such a mood. However, your bad mood should not be used to excuse rudeness, impatience and other bad behaviour towards others. Your mood is your business. You need to learn how to manage it.
- Remember that moods are not permanent. Your emotions change all the time and your bad mood will pass if you allow it to.
- Delay making any important decisions until after the mood lifts.
- Remain aware of the mood so that you can keep it from leading you to make costly mistakes that will only pull you down further.
- Brief introspection may be all you need to do to get the mood to lift. Try to pinpoint what triggered the mood. What were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you? What were the sights, smells, sounds that were present at the time? What was your behaviour? Why did you behave as you did?
- Try to trace back to a time when you were last in a bad mood. Are there any similarities between that time and your current spell? Warning: do not dwell on these things for too long.
- Was your bad mood brought on by stress? Learn to recognize the first signs of stress. We are not all the same but an upset stomach, headaches, fatigue, canker sores, back aches may be indicators that your body is under stress and that you need to take a break. Your body cries loudly when you push it too hard. Take time to hear the cries and recharge before irreparable damage is done.
- Get a mental check-up, ensure that you are not having hormonal imbalances.
The Good Mood
Remember Sheila? It seems that all was right with her world, doesn’t it? When one is in a good mood a whole host of positive emotions emerge. Joy, gratitude, pride in our abilities, curiosity, amusement, hope, inspiration and awe are just some of them. A good mood is a motivator. Scientists have found that people’s everyday decisions regarding which activities to undertake are directly linked to how they feel and tend to be consistent. For example, if an individual is feeling upbeat one Sunday morning they are 30% more likely to clean their house later that afternoon compared to someone who was feeling unhappy.
However, just like bad moods and emotions, good moods and emotions can deceive the brain. When you are feeling excited and really happy, it is easy to do something that you will regret later.
At lunchtime, Sheila breezed out of her office. “I’m going shopping. My favourite appliance store is having a sale. Does anybody want to come?” Three persons went with her. Who could pass up the opportunity of going shopping with the boss?
Sheila blew thousands away in that one shopping excursion. Not only did she buy appliances for herself but also for the persons who went with her. “These things are dirt cheap. We can’t miss this opportunity,” she remarked.
Two weeks later Sheila sat dolefully staring at her credit card statement. She was regretting the shopping spree. She was in debt. The sad thing was, half the things she thought she had to get were not really good purchases after all. She burst into tears.
Spending foolishly is only one of the mistakes you can make while in the throes of a good mood. When you are in a good mood everything looks rosy or as Jamaicans would say “every ting curry”. It is important to remember not to make impulsive decisions while wearing the rose-coloured spectacles of a good mood. Stay aware of the tendency to make unwise decisions and you will be able to enjoy your good mood without any regrets coming to haunt you later.
A Better Way
The lesson to learn from all of this is that we should not let our emotions lead us. Even though they are strong and almost irresistible they are temporary. A better way is found in Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” (KJV). But how does one trust God?
- Daily choose God above any other. Make Him priority. Consult with Him first. Talk and listen to Him in prayer.
- Study His word – God’s word gives direction as to how to deal with bad, negative emotions and how to cultivate good, positive ones. God’s counsel is good and leads to life.
- Follow the examples set by Jesus, the apostles, your modern-day hero(es) of faith.
- Remind yourself often that God IS good. This is not a cliché. God cannot be anything but good. He is always good.
- Get back on track when you go off course. If you find yourself relying on your emotions rather than God. Stop, repent and return to reliance on God.
- Remember that you are not in control. God is. That is comforting because He loves you and perfect love casts out all fear (See 1 John 4:18). You don’t have to worry about losing control. When God is in control He gives you self-control. It is a fruit of the Spirit of God (See Galatians 5:22-23)
- Avoid sin.
Even though we are all subject to moods we should never allow them to control our thoughts, words or actions. Control belongs to God.
Sharon E. Hermitt
Managing Director
HRWisdom Limited
Sexual Shalom Global Outreach
hrwisdom2020@gmail.com; ahermittsmusings@gmail.com; info4sexualshalom@gmail.com